New Workbook

Front coverBE HEALED from the destructive early-life shaping patterns of child abuse. Based on the real life story of the journey taken by Josh, this healing workbook is designed to set you free from the hold of the pain and the shame, and empower you to live an abundant life. Follow the steps which changed Josh’s life of self-hatred and depression to a life of joy, peace and love. You will smile and say, “Life is GOOD!”

amazon.com Paperback Kindle ebook

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Saved! Part I

Lies

can do

a lot of harm.

 

Have you ever done some crazy stuff? Did you ever think that some of the crazy stuff you did was maybe because you believed a lie? Lies can do a lot of harm.

My son Josh did some crazy self-destructive stuff because he believed a lie, this lie caused him to attempt suicide twice.

As best a father as I  set out to be, there was always a point where we reached a wall. Just when we were building trust, it would get sabotaged by a misunderstanding, a fight, an accusation. This was followed by shame, (I hate shame!). Anger…and dis-trust would creep back in real subtle like. No home run, no touch down, no big break through.

This lie was implanted in Josh at the age of 3 or 4.

In this true story Josh is 22. What I am saying is that my relationship with my son was blocked for 18 years because he believed a lie. My ability to be a father to him was prevented by this lie.

Up until the night of July 4, 2009 when the lie revealed itself.

When I finally came face to face with this beast of a lie, after losing out on 18 years of my life, you bet I was ready to get Josh back, and thank God, I did.

Excerpt from my book “The Coolness of Josh” by Marc Swift:

                                                   Saved

Somehow I was almost glad we were coming face-to-face with this hate from my son. I had lived with this hatred in him toward me almost all his life, without knowing why it was there.

Now, sitting face-to-face with Josh’s hostility, I could hear what the wounded heart of the boy inside him was thinking:

‘If my father loved me he would have been there to protect me.’

That was painful to me, because I always wanted to be there for my son.

And then, praying for healing, something dreadful dawned on me. There was more that was being implied.

I realized that the first lie had gotten twisted, like the wicker in the baskets we both hated and laughed about during our healing phone conversation.

Josh’s wound was relentlessly festering with doubt, as if trapped in a spell that slowly poisoned and steadily haunted him for years with a malicious accusation:

‘The reason your father wasn’t there to protect you, was that your father was in on it. He was giving it the ‘okay’–and looking the other way. Your dad didn’t want to protect you because he didn’t love you. He wanted to hurt you’.

Aiding and abetting.

That I had been a sadistic, passive accomplice to my wife’s molestation and abuse.

Now I knew the reason for the hatred.

My wife and the devil through her had instilled it in Josh, against me, his father.

Our future seemed to totter in the balance, ever so briefly, while both Josh and Dr. Bendler stared at me, awaiting my response.

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Saved! Part II

Book Cover Design Marc Swift

Book Cover Design
Marc Swift

 “The Coolness of Josh

 

Our future seemed to totter in the balance, ever so briefly, while both Josh and Dr. Bendler stared at me, awaiting my response.

As the fireworks crackled in the sky around us, God gave me the grace to look Josh square in the eye.

I knew I had to walk through this to get us both free. I sat there telling the devil to leave and asking for God’s help.

This tormenting evil spirit had been attached to Josh all these years to goad his wound, and I was glad it was about to leave him.

Which it did.

Josh was a changed man the next day.

Was it because of my prayer? Was it because I returned the hate with love, was it because I canceled the curse with my confidence that: “Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world?”

Was it because I had fought hard for almost a year for Josh to be liberated from all the lies that had separated us? My belief was in God’s promise that He would be with me.

“Though you walk through the fire, the flames will not come near you, you will not be touched by the fire…Fear not for I am with you.” (Isaiah 43:1-5)

I had to stand strong in my resolve that Josh would be delivered. For that to happen, I had to use all the authority given to me in the name of Jesus, to resist the devil and make him flee; and to show Josh that my love was bigger, that I wasn’t going anywhere until God arose and scattered his enemies.

 

Excerpt from  “The Coolness of Josh”  by Marc Swift

 

Love is strong as death.

                            Many waters cannot quench the flame of love, neither can the floods drown it.

Song of Songs,  from the ancient scriptures

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Saved! Part III

Josh's Signature Marc Swift

Josh’s Signature
Marc Swift

My resolve paid off. Josh didn’t just sober up after that. He was delivered. He saw life with new eyes.

Josh came over the next day and said how sorry he was for talking to me that way, and that he couldn’t believe he said the F. word to me. He told me over and over again, with great sadness, that he loved me and how sorry he was and to please forgive him.

I reassured Josh that I forgave him completely, affirming over and over that it was okay—of course I forgave him. I didn’t think any less of him. I understood where the hatred came from.

Then I told him I had no idea that his mother was doing these horrible things to him. I told him that I was in no way a part of her evil.

“If I had found out that she was messing with you guys that would have been the end of our marriage!” I said firmly to him. “That wasn’t negotiable. I would have been up and out of there and focused on how to repair the damage done to you and your brother.”

I repeatedly asked him to forgive me for not being there to stop it. “She played me. I’m sorry. I had no idea what she was doing. Mike was just a few months old. I thought she was taking care of you guys. She lied to me. The whole time we were married, I lived with a lie.”

“I know, Dad. I believe you. I really do forgive you.”

“Thank you Josh! That means a lot to me. I really love you.”

Right then, Josh had a light bulb moment. His face lit up. “Actually,” he lovingly told me, “it’s thanks to you that she stopped it.”

I was stunned.

“But…” I asked him, “How could I have stopped it if I didn’t know about it?”

“Well, after a few months you started working out of the house every day, and you needed Valerie to help you pick up the customer cars. So when you left, she had to leave with you and bring us along. She couldn’t stay with us all alone anymore. That put an end to it.”

“Wow! So I was a force for the good after all.”

“Yeah you were, Dad.”

“I want you to promise me that you will never get drunk again.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Will you put it in writing?”

“Absolutely,” Josh answered me.

I took out a sheet of paper and wrote:

“Never

NEVER

AGAIN

Coming Home Marc Swift

Coming Home
Marc Swift

Josh then signed it with a big flashy signature.

 

Excerpt from  “The Coolness of Josh”  by  Marc Swift

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The Midweek Pause

Take a Break, at the Zoo! Marc Swift

Take a Break, at the Zoo!
Marc Swift

Nothing deep here, my friends. No hidden meaning. Please take a deep breath and go with me on this short pause.

I learned something from the bloggle field this week.

I posted The Rescue Part I and then Part II as a logical progression in my mind –but when I went to read the blogs the order was Part II  first,  then Part I.  Out of sequence.

So, to get the right order in any sequence I have to do it backwards. 

  Part II,  then Part I.

I hope that will add to the suspense and heighten the interest.

Start the countdown..

3 – 2 – 1 – blastoff!

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The Rescue Part II

Victory Marc Swift

Victory
Marc Swift

    When it seemed hope was gone

and it was late,

    When all seemed pointless

and resigned to fate,

    Just when dark night

 was setting in

to stay…

                                                                                    is there still a way?

Help!

This can’t be

the end

of

my day.

 

There came

a light-hearted Dad,

himself newly Freed,

Confident,

on purpose and

with determined speed,

 

Coming forth to rescue

his dear beloved son,

Believing

the wounds of the past

could be undone,

his life redeemed

with love

and the victory won.

 

                                                                                                   Marc Swift

 

There’s a battle to fight for the heart of the son.

Will his heart be locked captive by a wound or will his heart emerge with compassion to free the captives?

Are you going to help his heart emerge with compassion?

Are you going to let his heart stay wounded, become bitter, defeated and beaten, never knowing that it is awaited in a home of love by a father who cares?

Or will you come to rescue it?

 

 

 

 

 

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The Rescue Part I

Red Sky at Night Marc Swift

Red Sky at Night
Marc Swift

Once upon a Time,   

                                            I had a son.                                                 

He was bright and brilliant,

full of vigor and promise.

He was fiery and inventive.

He had so much enthusiasm that not only did his teachers have trouble containing it,

he had trouble containing it.

He lit up the whole classroom.

Yet, like all  true epics and fairytales,

there was an enemy that wounded him

early in his childhood,

robbing his innocence,

hoping to thwart his trust,

dull his passion for life,

and steal that heritage

to which he was an heir.

For years

he suffered life tormented,

Living

with potential prevented,

Longing

                                                 for meaning

                                                                                                                         and love

and care.

When it seemed hope was gone

and it was late,

When all seemed pointless

and resigned to ‘fate’

just when dark night

was setting in

                                                                                                        to stay…

                                                                                                                           

Marc Swift

I sank beneath the waves, and death was very near.

The waters closed above me, the seaweed wrapped itself around my head.

I went down to the ocean floor.

I was locked out of life and imprisoned in the land of death.

But, O Lord my God, you have snatched me from the yawning jaws of death.

Jonah, in the ancient scriptures.

 

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